share the depth of my soul
share the depth of my soul
I start at an escalator it is going down. There is a sign over head, "to the soul," it is a red sign with white letters. Almost like a stop sign onyl rectangular. I approach the escalator and look down. There is an empty blackness as the revolving staircase travels downward and downward. Almost like moving towards the bottom of the ocean.
I am traveling downard. There is nothign for a little while. Flashes of light beam in and out. - As I go down it is not what I see but what I feel. Everything around me except for the flashes of light is black. Deep meloncholy, reserved. But there are feelings.
Sadness like a blanket wraps itsself around me as I travel down. Down. DOWN. "You there, yes you! An old man sits on a cloud of light, he has a white beard. He is an old jewish man. "I regret coming down here." He breathes his last breath, falls through the cloud of light. Into the dark abyss.
I keep traveling down. More flashes of light. Greater intesity of emotions. Happiness comes and goes. There really isn't much to it. All emotions come and go. Just energy, beams of light that dart in and out of the blackness. The nothingness that is the soul.
What is meloncholy? Why do I constantly have the fear of traveling down a path that I cannot come back from? If I make a mistake down the way, If I make a decision, do I vary from the path. "Take the road less traveled" But it all connects to the same destination.
Am I good enough? Is my soul inherently valued less than another's? What makes someone more of a person? A girl flies by. She tells me that there is a Unity, a collective consciousness among'st all living things. That if you really open your mind, your energy, you can feel it.
She takes my hand, it feels warm. Grateful, my thirst was quenched and light seemed to flow directly into our digits. Warm, pulsating, wet. I crave that fire, that glow.
I am not worthy. She is still flying. She has not once touched the ground. There are others, unfortunately that she has her eye on. I am envious of them.
The flashes of light become dim. They move faster and become more sparse. Where did you go? Why did you leave me? What was I supposed to learn?
The Escalator stops. In front of me, a choice. A small button. "Press start to continue." Like the video games I used to play as a kid. I hated being alone. Sitting in my room with nothing but the glow of the television, hurting my eyes. Streams of harsh light piercing my retinas, gluing me to the screen.
I did not want to go any further. The old man, he regrets it.
It's an escalator right? When it breaks it just becomes stairs. I could just walk down. No, I'm too weak. I enjoy the inertia of the machine doing it for me.
Hovering my hand over the button, a voice screams in my head, "YOU CAN'T EVEN PUSH A BUTTON RIGHT"
'I was supposed to be an artist' 'I received a D in art class'
I pressed the button, the escalator starts again with a forceful jolt.
What is a stream of consciousness?
There are no more flashes of light, but the feelings are still there.
"Your mom and I are getting a Divorce"
Abandonment.
Specks of white light, crystals, stalactites.
There is no ceiling here, only these crystals.
Light moves slowly here, fills every nook and cranny.
"Why are you so fat?"
I need to keep going.
I curl into a ball on the Escalator shielding my eyes from the intense glow of the crystals. They are not real.
Why did she leave me?
She is still here
She leaves again.
I am not real
kill me
I awake, still on the escalator I have passed the crystals and in the distance I hear the faint sound of music. A nocturne.
share the depth of my soul
I start at an escalator it is going down. There is a sign over head, "to the soul," it is a red sign with white letters. Almost like a stop sign onyl rectangular. I approach the escalator and look down. There is an empty blackness as the revolving staircase travels downward and downward. Almost like moving towards the bottom of the ocean.
I am traveling downard. There is nothign for a little while. Flashes of light beam in and out. - As I go down it is not what I see but what I feel. Everything around me except for the flashes of light is black. Deep meloncholy, reserved. But there are feelings.
Sadness like a blanket wraps itsself around me as I travel down. Down. DOWN. "You there, yes you! An old man sits on a cloud of light, he has a white beard. He is an old jewish man. "I regret coming down here." He breathes his last breath, falls through the cloud of light. Into the dark abyss.
I keep traveling down. More flashes of light. Greater intesity of emotions. Happiness comes and goes. There really isn't much to it. All emotions come and go. Just energy, beams of light that dart in and out of the blackness. The nothingness that is the soul.
What is meloncholy? Why do I constantly have the fear of traveling down a path that I cannot come back from? If I make a mistake down the way, If I make a decision, do I vary from the path. "Take the road less traveled" But it all connects to the same destination.
Am I good enough? Is my soul inherently valued less than another's? What makes someone more of a person? A girl flies by. She tells me that there is a Unity, a collective consciousness among'st all living things. That if you really open your mind, your energy, you can feel it.
She takes my hand, it feels warm. Grateful, my thirst was quenched and light seemed to flow directly into our digits. Warm, pulsating, wet. I crave that fire, that glow.
I am not worthy. She is still flying. She has not once touched the ground. There are others, unfortunately that she has her eye on. I am envious of them.
The flashes of light become dim. They move faster and become more sparse. Where did you go? Why did you leave me? What was I supposed to learn?
The Escalator stops. In front of me, a choice. A small button. "Press start to continue." Like the video games I used to play as a kid. I hated being alone. Sitting in my room with nothing but the glow of the television, hurting my eyes. Streams of harsh light piercing my retinas, gluing me to the screen.
I did not want to go any further. The old man, he regrets it.
It's an escalator right? When it breaks it just becomes stairs. I could just walk down. No, I'm too weak. I enjoy the inertia of the machine doing it for me.
Hovering my hand over the button, a voice screams in my head, "YOU CAN'T EVEN PUSH A BUTTON RIGHT"
'I was supposed to be an artist' 'I received a D in art class'
I pressed the button, the escalator starts again with a forceful jolt.
What is a stream of consciousness?
There are no more flashes of light, but the feelings are still there.
"Your mom and I are getting a Divorce"
Abandonment.
Specks of white light, crystals, stalactites.
There is no ceiling here, only these crystals.
Light moves slowly here, fills every nook and cranny.
"Why are you so fat?"
I need to keep going.
I curl into a ball on the Escalator shielding my eyes from the intense glow of the crystals. They are not real.
Why did she leave me?
She is still here
She leaves again.
I am not real
kill me
I awake, still on the escalator I have passed the crystals and in the distance I hear the faint sound of music. A nocturne.
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